Thoughts on Motherhood- 6 Months

  Here we are, 6 months in on this grand adventure of motherhood! I know every parent on the planet has said at one point on their lives "where has the time gone?!", or "treasure every moment because it all goes by so fast!". Well.. it might be cliché but it's also so true! It's hard to believe that Vivian has been here for 6 (almost 7!) months. The experience has been more incredible than I could have ever imagined. I have felt emotions I never thought possible and realms of sleeplessness I didn't know existed! To commemorate this half-year milestone I thought I'd blog my thoughts of motherhood thus far..

  Sleep isn't as important as you think..

 (Oh, but it's wonderful when it happens!)

  Vivian has never been much of a sleeper at night. I think the longest stretch she's done is 6 hours and thats only happened twice. Lately she's up 4 or more times a night but we're in the process of helping her learn to soothe her self when she wakes up hoping that one day this momma will be able to get sleep in stretches longer then 2 or 3 hours! 

  For awhile I was finding myself so frustrated in the mornings. I felt so bad for being grumpy around Kevin when he was just leaving for work and being not so patient with Vivian first thing in the morning. That's all changed the past week when I realized that there are some moms who are up every hour multiple times a week with their babies and Vivian has only done that once or twice when she was a new born. I also think of what a miracle babies are and that there are so many things that could go wrong and how lucky we are to have a healthy little girl. So my 2/3 hours are nothing to complain about. 

  I hold on to the idea of sleep and that one day I'll get a solid nights rest, and until then I wont complain about a lack of sleep or let it effect any minute with Vivian. 

Every One is Someone's Baby

  Having Vivian has made me appreciate my parents more than I ever have. I think about Vivian talking to me the way I've talked to my parents sometimes and I shudder! Or if she ever comes home later than she was told to and how much worry and fear I'll have that something happened to her. It really puts the world into perspective- thinking of every person you see as someones baby boy or girl. There's so much love and time a parent puts into their child and then they watch them take off into the world on their own. It makes me so sad to see and hear about bombings and murders or suicides because I think of the parents and what a heartbreaking experience it must be to lose a child. So if anything, becoming a mother has made me have a more compassionate and empathetic outlook on the world. 

Live in the Moment

  Its so easy to get caught up in the past and to worry about the future. Now add the distractions of modern day technology and where are you? Not where you're supposed to be, present. I've been making a point of leaving my phone in the other room while Vivian is awake and just play with her when she's up. A lot of times that means I miss calls from friends and family or the kitchen stays dirty half of the day, but it also means that I'm taking in as much as possible from my time with Viv while she's little. Because one day before I know it, I'll be dropping her off around the corner from her school because she doesn't want to be seen with her mom. Haha

Which kinda leads perfectly into....

Whatever it is, it Can Wait

  Because what's more important than that? 

Vivian's Birth Story

   On the morning of April 3rd Kevin and I headed down to St. Luke's hospital for my routine 39 week prenatal appointment at 11:40am. I was approaching my due date and was starting to get worried at my lack of "progress" towards labor. I had experienced some cramping and back labor one night around week 38 but other than that I didn't have any signs that we would be having a baby anytime soon. I had only been checked for cervical progress at 36 weeks, then decided that I didn't need to be checked after that because dilation means nothing until you're actually in labor. So going into my 39 week appointment I was contemplating whether I wanted to know my progress (or lack there of...). When my doctor came in she asked me a question I wasn't prepared to answer, she wanted to know if I wanted to have my membranes swept to help labor to come. After some back and forth between us and the doctor we decided we had nothing to loose. I was close to 40 weeks and didn't want to go past 41 weeks to avoid induction.

  The sweep was very uncomfortable and I was told that I was 1cm dilated and 70 percent effaced.. Compared to the last time I was checked at 36 weeks I had only progressed HALF a centimeter and 10 percent!! I reminded myself again that dilation didn't mean anything, but it was discouraging none the less.  

  We left the hospital and headed home to go about our day as normal. Kevin went to work and I cleaned and prepped some food while I waited for my sister-in-law to come over and keep me company. I had started feeling light cramps around 3pm but figured it was due to the sweep and didn't think too much of it. My sister-in-law and I talked for a few hours while my cramps gradually got more painful. I was in denial when I started timing how far apart the "cramps" we're at 7pm. Then (who knows what I was thinking..) I suggested we go out to get some dinner at a restaurant downtown. While eating my salad and soup my contractions (started to think they were more than cramps when I had to set my fork down during the pains) started coming about every 6 minutes. After scaring our poor waitress by telling her I was in labor, we paid and headed home. When Kevin got home from work around 9, they were 4-3 minutes apart and lasting 1-1.5 minutes.

  At this point I still thought that I could be having false labor (denial, I know!). So I wasn't gathering last minute items for the hospital, I was breathing out contractions on the floor on my hands and knees.. then in the bath tub.. then back on the floor. I was everywhere! Trying to visualize my way through the contraction, and completely relax my body in between them. Then I do what every woman would do.. I called home haha. After talking to my step mom (with my poor dad sounding worried in the back, yelling why I hadn't gone to the hospital yet! Sorry dad!) we decided to call the hospital and tell the nurse my situation and see what she thought I should do. The nurse on staff told me I could come in if I wanted, but that they would probably send me home. That just made me want to stay home even more! My parent's called me back and begged me to go in, but Kevin and I decided to stay at home a bit longer (you know, to wait to see if it was false labor... what was I thinking?!). After about an hour of strong contractions 2-3 minutes apart we FINALLY decided it was time to head to the hospital. 

  It was my plan to labor at home for as long as possible, to avoid going in until I was well established in active labor so I could avoid as much medical intervention as possible. But it was not my plan to be so unprepared! I was still gathering items for the hospital, while Kevin was putting in the car seat.. all the  while I was having to go down on my hands and knees every 2 minutes for a contraction haha. 

I had 3 contractions in the car in the way to the hospital, and 3 walking into the hospital (one right in the middle of a cross walk haha). The nurses in the ER looked worried when Kevin said my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and they rushed me up to triage. 

  When I was checked at 2am on April 4th I was 5.5 cm dilated. It was comforting to know that the "pain" I was feeling was actually progress. I think it was at that moment that I finally accepted that I was going to have my baby that day. We were moved to the labor suite and I was relieved to hear bath water running. At this point the contractions were about 2 minutes apart and I had progressed to 7.5 cm in one and a half hours! Yay for progress, boo for transition. I knew transition was the worst part of labor, but I also knew that it was the shortest. I had to keep reminding myself that with each contraction my baby was getting closer and closer to being in this world, in my arms. 

Looking like I was in labor ;)

  I have zero recollection of time after getting to the labor suite, but I know I spent a great deal of time in the jacuzzi tub. When I was in the tub I used visualization when I could feel the pain starting to build, to help me stay focused and breath through it. In between contractions I was an endless, calm ocean and when the pain started to build I became this rolling wave. Imagining my myself as water helped remind me to stay fluid and relaxed, even during the contractions.

  I got out of the tub to be checked again and to discuss having my water broken. The pressure in my back at this point was really intense and I knew that having my water broken would help relieve some of that pressure. I also knew that once my water was broken my contractions would get worse. After a dozen or so contractions, I asked that my doctor be called in so my water could be broken.

  Once my water was broken the contractions did get worse, the pressure in my back had decreased and I started to get the urge to push. I was only at a 9.5cm but my body was ready so they called my doctor in and I started to bring Vivian into the world. They say I pushed for about 30 minutes, but it seemed shorter than that to me.

  When she was born at 7:01am on April 4th, 2013 her eyes were wide open and she was alert but calm. She was placed on my chest, and everything else that was going on in that room is foggy. We stared at each other and I thought of all the times I imagined what she was going to look like and how none of those images came close to how beautiful she was in that moment.

  I can't say enough how wonderful Kevin was the entire time. During early labor he was trying his best to distract me from each contraction. He remained calm which helped me to do the same. At the hospital he basically held me up in the water while I was in the jacuzzi (which meant A LOT considering he has such a bad back.. I did think about his back often during labor, really appreciating the discomfort he was going through to lessen my own). He massaged my back even when I swatted his hands away during transition (it's not a pretty time in labor!), and massaged my legs to help me relax my muscles in between contractions. When it came time to push, I could hear the excitement in his voice when he told me I was doing great and he gave me that last bit of strength needed so we could meet our daughter. He was amazing and he continues to be everyday by taking such good care of his wife and baby girl.

  From the moment I found out I was pregnant I knew I wanted a non-medicated birth. I never thought of birth as a medical experience, but as an organic and natural thing that women have been doing forever. I never asked for medication for pain relief, but I sure did think to myself (especially during transition!) "I bet an epidural feels SOOOO good", I also thought how I didn't want any more children after Vivian haha. Looking back it wasn't really "painful" to me, it only lasted about a minute each time and I knew it wasn't causing any permanent damage.

  I felt no pain after she was born. I didn't think about what labor I had felt all that night. I felt invigorated and powerfully feminine. There were many times though out this pregnancy when I worried that I wouldn't be strong enough for labor, mentally or physically. But in the moment I found that the strength I needed came naturally because my body was made to do this. Just like I was made for her and she was made for me.    

  Over all, the experience was amazing. The hospital staff was incredible, our nurse was so supportive and no one pushed me into anything I didn't want (or need). I can honestly look back and say that the day my baby girl was born was the best day of my life.

Baby Sommer, TAKE TWO!

When we first went in to get the anatomy scan done on baby, we found out that she was most likely a girl and was taking a liking to yoga very early. She was so balled up that we couldn't finish the measurements so we got to make a second anatomy scan appointment (yay for getting to see baby extra!).

So earlier this month we went back in and and was told that she was still a "she" and everything was normal and healthy looking. 

At one point during the scan, I looked to Kevin with my adoring "look what love can do!" eyes and I missed her yawning!!! I was so heartbroken I missed it, but glad Kevin caught it. 

But just last night, I decided to check out the CD the ultrasound tech had given us with the new pictures she had taken of Vivian and saw that there were more videos then pictures! And although its only 5 seconds long, I got to see our baby girl yawn (being a fetus must be so tiring..).

This video starts mid-yawn. 

She is such a lady covering her mouth :]

Auntie Chelsey

My little sister came to visit  us in Boise for the very first time this month and it was the BEST Christmas gift ever. I had so much fun having her here! I woke her up every morning before I had to go to work (which I know she LOVED) and got to spoil her a little. While I worked 5 hours a day she got to check out the BSU campus along with the rest of the little-big city of Boise 

(and who knows maybe she'll decide to spend some of her college life here after she finishes up in Alaska!). 

While she was only here for a few days I had the best time with her. Growing up you never guess that one day all the sibling rivalry and cat fights over missing clothes would grow into this unbreakable bond (and silly shenanigans that no one else could possibly understand!)

She made the board for 24 weeks.. 

and got to feel her little niece wiggling around for the first time!

And here are the pretty stellar cookies we made! 

(note to the wise, watch the spacing when laying cookies on the cookie sheet, we ended up with a mass of odd shapes)

My little sister is a PRO at decorating cookies, 

the girl watches way too much Cake Boss.

Bringing her to the airport was so hard, I just wanted to keep changing her ticket and have her here forever! But I know my dad needed one of his girls in Alaska for Christmas, so I had to send her off. 

CJBW,

You better be coming down as soon as spring semester is finished Chelly Belly! Little Vivian can't wait to meet her Aunt Chelsey for realsies!!! 

WE LOVE YOU!!

annnd for your viewing pleasure.. 

me, my baby, and my baby's daddy at 

25 weeks complete!

Board by Kevin

(after he saw how frustrated I was becoming with the chalk breaking 

and decided it was in the best interest of the board that he take over haha)

What's in a Name?

I always thought I had my future children's names all picked out and settled on.. then I got pregnant and suddenly I had no idea where to even start on picking out a name. Kevin and I would randomly toss out a name here and there, never really stressing out because we figured we had 9 months to decide haha!

I carry a note book in my purse with random notes, thoughts, and lists. One of those lists was a baby name list. We had a running list of both boy and girl names. From the beginning, boy names were easier for Kevin and I to come up with, but we never found "the one". When we found out baby Sommer was a girl I thought back to our small girl name list and knew we had quite the task on out hands.

I looked at online name databases and books. Read blogs on baby naming, read lots of unique baby names, old fashion baby names, classic baby names, and "never name your baby this" lists. Nothing really jumped out at us so we decided to put away the naming game and just see if something came to us. 

It wasn't until this past week when Kevin said one of my favorite names (that I had been fond of since Kevin was on R&R last summer) with my own middle name that something clicked for us.. and we thought that we had found the perfect name for our baby girl. 

 Vivian Alexandra Sommer

We love you so much already and know that you will be more beautiful than anything we could ever imagine.

*Also we get to see little Vivian again this week when we finish our anatomy scan, hopefully she isn't balled up this time!

 (and is still a girl haha)

A Little Girl

We had our anatomy scan ultrasound early this past week and while baby was all balled up and not moving for anything the ultrasound technician saw what she believed to be proof that our baby was a little girl!! 

Because she was so balled up the tech wasn't able to get all of the measurements she needed so we get a "bonus" scan! I think baby girl knew how much we love seeing her and took that position on purpose so we can get an extra peak :]

We go in three weeks from now and by then she'll be too big to curl up and we can get the rest of the measurements we need.

So what else has been going on? Me trying to fit into my non-maternity clothes comfortably! I'm fitting into my jeans with the help of hair ties (seriously, best advice EVER) and I'm starting to get creative with belting and layering longer shirts under sweaters. It's funny to pull on a shirt that was "bigger" on me before (and I never wore because of that but couldn't let it go) and have it fit me nearly perfectly! It's those moments that make me feel like I'm a "smart hoarder"... haha!

And dresses, of course, still work.

  (even though it gets chilly and we have to rush the pictures.) 

(and yayy for even being able to take pictures outside in November.. and in a dress no less!)

Oh and now I'm half way though my pregnancy! I have an application on my iPod that told me I deserved to go out and celebrate it, so I plan on going with my sister-in-laws to get my hair done and possibly a pedicure.

 (Just think, years from now I'll be going to get pedicures with my daughter!)

Baby Gear

 Lately (between my exhausting tasks of making tea, working out, and cooking..) I have been peaking around on the internet reading reviews, browsing websites, and making "wish lists" of baby items. Since we won't know what we're having until early next week I have to force myself not to be getting to taken away by any sex-specific clothing, nursery items, and any other gear. So I focus mostly on gender neutral classic pieces. Here are a few picks:

HERE

A soft set in a beautiful light grey 

(by one of my favorite brands too!)

HERE

I've read nothing but great reviews about this brand.

These blankets will make great swaddles, light blankets, and light car seat cover.

HERE

Another pick from this great brand.

It's an electronic feeding diary, room temp. indicator, sound machine, nightlight and clock.

-All in ONE!

(oh and the star theme going.. totally not intentional!)

HERE

I have been swooning over this crib for quite some time!

The natural and white combo is so effortlessly cool and timeless.

HERE

I will be wearing the baby as often as possible.

(enter the baby kicking me!!! I think that's a "yes please" from the little one)

It's a no brainer for having to get stuff done around the house.

HERE

For the Nursery to keep baby healthy and happy. 

Might have to get one for myself soon to help with prego nose.

HERE

Great brand- comes with changing pad, wipe case, and lots of pockets. 

In a fun rugged material that's also dad friendly!