Letting People Grow.

I wanted to write a short blog about something I have been struggling with. To maybe give myself a chance to really "ponder" the idea and put my thoughts all in one place. So maybe this will help someone else, too :)

I know I'm probably the only person on the planet who feels this way.. but sometimes people really piss me off. Since I'm a super emotional and deeply feeling person sometimes all people have to do get me going is be something other than how I want or need them to be. Because the world revolves around me, right?! 

Oh self.. you're crazy. 

So this post is mostly about letting people be.. who they are! While loving them for exactly that reason.

I think often people don't get along because one wants the other to be a certain way (and that's just not gonna happen!) so they spend the entirety of the relationship trying to get that person to be something they're not. Not productive or healthy for either party. 

I'm so guilty of this and have been trying to be better about loving people as they come, and making peace with exactly who they are. We cause ourselves unnecessary pain attempting to control something we can't. So why not try to embrace the things we may not really like about someone as the exact thing that makes them unique and appreciate that uniqueness as something rare and beautiful.

I don't believe people ever change.

Some people might not like to hear that or might disagree.. but I think that we are who we are. I also believe that we experience things though out our lives that impact us- take away or add from us, but our souls are always constant. People do bad things or hurt people because of something that left a wound to their core self. 

That's why I believe in redemption and forgiveness. I like to think that while people don't ever really change, they can learn and do better. 

So when I struggle to accept the way someone is I remind myself that they're on a journey that is entirely their own. My part in that journey is to either add to it, or take away from it. I can not put them on a path, only be there to support them when they take a wrong turn or congratulate them when they get to where they wanted to be. 

Because of all this, you should never apologize for who you are. Apologize if you did something you are genuinely sorry for and move on. You can only grow though living, and that means making mistakes. 

So be unapologetically flawed. 

Mess up, learn, then grow from it. 

Be generously forgiving.

Understand, love, then love some more.